Tag Archives: healing meditation

No one is born Self Confident

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

No on is born Self-Confident even some people tend to believe that. As if self-confidence is a gift that was given to a few by birth and others have to work hard for it, some of us even a life time. This believe is a myth and has created a lot of confusion and misunderstanding within our personal expression of ourselves.

After years of self-development and also walking and exploring the spiritual path, I honestly can say: No one was born Self-Confident furthermore that the growth of self -confidence has different stages we go through. There are internal and external factors that do play a very important role in building self-confidence by understanding this we gain a lot of insights and can change accordingly.


There are many studies and even more opinions about the subject of self-confidence and many of them teach us a totally wrong picture what it actually is.

The concept of self-confidence is commonly used as self-assurance in one’s personal judgement, ability, power, etc. One increases self-confidence from experiences of having mastered particular activities. It is a positive belief that in the future one can generally accomplish what one wishes to do. Self-confidence is not the same as self-esteem, which is an evaluation of one’s own worth, whereas self-confidence is more specifically trust in one’s ability to achieve some goal…” – Wikipedia 2018


I wonder how many people do truly know what self-confidence is, how many of us do still believe the media’s opinion that confidence can only increase if we buy this or that. Only if we possess certain things or follow a certain method we will finally gain self-confidence and can achieve anything we want in life.

Internal and external factors that shape Self-confidence

There are many different factors which play an important role in building self-confidence early in our lives. Most important probably will be our parents and how much they encouraged, supported and loved us. This relationship is the foundation for the rest of our lives and determines very much on how we see ourselves. The more we grow up the more we come in touch with other external factors such as teachers and other children at school. The teachers opinion about our performance in school has a huge impact on our self-confidence and can break us. In that period of time we also confronted with media’s idea about our self-image and especially as a teenager we are so vulnerable to the opinions of others. These early external factors play an important role in our person development of self-confidence and can have an impact we will feel a life time. Unless we become conscious and aware enough or shall I say brave enough to heal and break through childhood or early teenage trauma.


The role of our parents towards Self-confidence

While we are children, we are totally dependent on our parents and what they make us belief about ourselves. Some people say that children have developed a sense of self-esteem by the age of 5. Dependent on our parents and how much they supported us during the early ages we will grow rich or poor in self-confidence. If rejection, abuse or the inability to express love towards children has taken place, the child will suffer a lot more than other children. In addition to that its not only what our parents do think about us but also what the parents do think about themselves. How can a parent give a good idea of self-confidence if its not present within themselves? The parents inability to love themselves or being proud of their own achievements will also be reflected towards the child. Especially that happens if the child in its innocent nature strives to be better and learn new things. If the parents then hold on to their own lack of self-confidence it doesn’t allow the child to make new experiences that help him/her grow. This is often how problems and belief systems are passed down from one generation to the other, to the point where one family member finally breaks free by seeking actively help regarding these problems.


Performance and the fail of the education system to offer true support

Performance is everything, parents are still believing that only if a child performs good in school it will make it in life. Teachers thinking the same, but for them it is more important if the child does perform good in a certain subject. Because for the teacher it is a sign that he/she is doing the right job. I wonder how many teacher actually do ask themselves if what they teach is actually needed in life? In addition to that I want to raise the question how many children nearly break under the expectations of parents and teachers to perform rather than be themselves? We still do believe only if we achieve something with the highest scores it would build up our self-confidence, this is only half true.


Yes, achievement has something to do with building self-confidence but it can be an achievement in anything. Something we do like, something we do have a passion for, something we set our minds to and we achieved it with our own two hands or with support of others.

In schools and education the achievement mostly includes to repeat what has been said or to achieve the highest mark so we are able to get a better job in the future. As statistics have shown how many world class students are still out of work. On the other hand side how many famous or successful people are truly depressed?

It is a myth and we still go for the idea that happiness is found on the outside, based on this believe we run around a life time, continuously asking ourselves when it will finally come. The day we achieved to be content and at ease with ourselves?

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Real Self-Confidence comes from within

Let me say again, self-confidence is not something we are born with but something that we gain throughout life. It is very important to understand the difference, furthermore it will help to build a solid foundation on which self-confidence finally can grow.

From a spiritual perspective the problem arises already with our birth. The moment when the spirit incarnates into a physical body and sets itself the challenge to experience the world through the eyes of its own. From the moment we are born we are totally dependant on our parents, or at least on our mothers. We need to be fed, looked after and told how to do things. Dependant on our parents this can be a tricky path and very much is up to them what they think is really important to us. But also what they think about themselves. Then we are forced into an education system that makes us believe that our performance on how to repeat what is told will get us what we need in life. Unable to understand ourselves, the world around us we do suffer from an early age from an alienation what life is really about.


Its not about how good you perform in life but what you gain from life. How good you learn to express yourself in many different ways in this life time. How brave you are to truly explore and be who you are. Furthermore how capable you are to deal with life difficulties without losing the belief in yourself. This often is not taught to us by our parents or in school. Media and news do as well fail in building a strong foundation for people to understand life of what it truly is.

In the last instance many people turn to spirituality around the age of mid 40’s. When we have lived through some difficulties in life, we might gone through childbirth, marriage, divorce, experienced loss, and death in one way or the other, we made it in a job or even lost it once. We suddenly realize that all this somehow made us stronger and more experienced at the same time we do feel more vulnerable. Feeling that life can hit you very unexpected and nothing much you can do about it. One day we are self-confident and we think we can achieve anything the next moment this conviction is gone with the wind. All that is left is the question what is next? And how we are going do deal with it?

Self-confidence is a process from self-exploration and experiences, how we deal with them and how open we are to change? Some people are maybe born with a stronger will to live, some people got a thicker skin than others. A few people know that they asking for assistance or help to deal with certain circumstances is not a crime but very necessary to outgrow old belief systems about the self. Others might turned bitter and given up on life. In all of us there is the potential for greatness and it is up to us what we are going to make of it.

How much can we accept that life is full of unexpected changes? How far can we push ourselves to strive to new heights? Can we forgive ourselves and others for making mistakes? When do we realize that self-confidence is not something that we are born with but something that needs to be trained, brought back into life once it was lost and maybe restored when it has been broken. Understanding what role our parents, teachers, others, the media and society played in shaping the belief in ourselves. It is a slowly process of getting to know yourself better, day by day. Sorting out what you want and what you don’t want, allowing your limitations and dreams to guide you. Realizing a setback is not the end and every day we got the chance to start all over again.

Medium – Healer – Soulactivist

Julie Jurgan is a medium, healer and Soulactivist. She offers One-to-One Sessions ( Readings & Meditations) via Skype and in person. Her healing sessions are available in person as well as via distance. Her healing sessions are powerful and transforming. If you want to know what sessions Julie offers please have a look here…

If you interested to book a session or gain more information on how I work why not contact me and arrange a

 10min FREE Consultation Session 

You can also sign up for my “free” monthly newsletter I do send out every New Moon.

You can follow me on facebook here…

(featured image – finishstrong.com)

Loving yourself – The new Superpower

There are huge discussions about the subject of self-love these days and so many voices encourage this kind of powerful act of self-empowerment.

Even the media have realized that being different and an individual is something that sales in our new modern approaching times. Be who you are and be proud of that.

This new shift of energies towards self-acceptance and empowerment is to see and there is so much more to come. We are invited to be truly ourselves and show it to the world, no matter what. But how many of us do really know who they are?

by pinterest.com

Self-love isn’t about being overweight and trying not caring what other people think. Real Self-love is truly accepting yourself without the opinion of others.

Self-love is not suffering from mental health issues and telling people openly about it because its now widely accepted in society. Real Self-love is about asking for help if you suffer and loving yourself for your vulnerability. Knowing that every person on this planet goes through this, its a part of being human.

Self-love is not only to appreciating our flaws and a random act of kindness towards ourselves. Self-love is 24/7 available, it is something that we can give to ourselves, every moment and minute of time.

Self-love is a real superpower that will change your life forever.

Many people think that self-love starts in the moment when you actually give a shit about what other people think of you. Some people think only if they start caring less, than self-love would take place within their lives.

Self-love is, caring more – not about what others may think – but what you actually thinking about yourself.

by public domain

I would like to say that self-love starts with the moment you decide to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself for me does include the full spectrum of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.  Every part is interconnected with another part within ourselves and therefore can positively influence each other. So if we start treating one part with love and kindness, the rest will follow and benefit from it.

The moment in which you make a commitment to yourself that from today on you will be looking after yourself, no matter what, the transformation will begin.

You will start to accept your limitations and will not give more than you have resources available. You will start to honour your body and its needs. You will give yourself a mental break if you need to, you will learn to be patient and gentle with yourself and furthermore you find ways to enjoy life, no matter what.


To make it easier for you, I created these guidelines or principles that will help you to stay focused and true to your mission of self-love.

1. Love yourself first

Loving yourself first is a very tricky thing and many of us do really struggle to do that. We easily give our unconditional support and love to family and friends but very rarely to ourselves. Thinking if we would say no, we would be self-fish or a bad person. Deep within we might suffer from the thought that we find our worth in sacrificing ourselves for others. Only when we are needed – we are worthy.

Especially women struggle to set healthy boundaries and get some real me time! But as the Buddhists say: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Which means, that how can we give truly love to others if we don’t love ourselves first? And by saying that I don’t mean accepting yourself for who you are, or the way you look, but to give yourself first what you really need. Time out, holiday, good food, exercise, fun and days out, rest or sleep, but furthermore start actively asking yourself, what is it what I do need now? Act accordingly.

by dreamstime.com

2. Learn to say NO – if you want to

How many of us do suffer from the fear of rejection and its consequences? The weird look of others, the withdrawing of love and affection or even the argument that follows once we decided to set boundaries for our own good. If you truly want to start loving yourself you will need to stop thinking it is possible to please everybody. You will need to learn to say NO and be okay with its consequences. You can do that! If you fail to set healthy boundaries with others, you will suffer for sure. You will exhaust yourself, get frustrated and allow others to take away your power. You are in control. Make use of it. Setting boundaries is a very important step towards self-love and very empowering. Let go of the illusion that everybody needs to clap when you start saying No, they will not. But your inner self will clap for you endlessly and reward you with a lot more to come.

3. Start Respecting yourself – and others will respect you too

This is a very common problem and I come across it many times within my work as healer and medium. Many people complain about that they are not being respected at work, in a relationship, or in their family. These people don’t realize that others won’t pay respect, if we don’t start showing respect towards ourselves first. Respecting yourself is a massive step towards self-love and has many aspects. Such as resting when you want to, leave when you feel uncomfortable, tell people not to speak in a certain way with you and not allow anybody to take away your peace of mind. Ask yourself honestly, how shall others respect you if you don’t respect yourself in the first place?

This means to be aware of how you talk to yourself, how often you do respect your own limitations or respect yourself just for the way you are?

Once you set these rules in motion you will see how others automatically will come and respect you. The energy within you will be expressed on the outside world. This is how the magic works!

by pinterest.com

4. Be Honest with yourself

This is so important and I just can’t highlight it enough. Be honest, no matter what!!! Being honest with yourself is a really huge step towards your self-love because it means that you are going to be clear with yourself and others. No more delusional denial, no more blindly following what’s been said if it doesn’t feel right for you. No more trying to make things work if they just not worth the try.

At the beginning that can bring you into a bit of a mess or chaos in your life, but if you truly want to commit to self-love and improve your life you will need to go through this stage. It will help you to sort out your relations in your private and working life. It will help you to gain a deeper connection and understanding of the true, the whole you! Dare to be honest and start with yourself. The gains will be massively rewarding.  Being honest and clear takes courage. It will help you to stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. It will add clarity into your life and help you to come straight to the point. It saves you a lot of energy and time and also you can finally stop over thinking stuff!!!

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5. Treat yourself – not only once in a while

How often have we heard of others, ohhh you should treat yourself to this or that? And at the end we backed out thinking, aww I will do it tomorrow or next time when we got more money or whatsoever. The time is always now and that counts for self-love too. There is always an opportunity to treat yourself for a nice walk, a good book, some time away, a piece of chocolate cake, a nice new piece of clothes, a concert or movie, a nice meal or yoga class.

Treating yourself has many aspects and should include the whole spectrum of body, mind and spirit. Sometimes we should get treated by others, like receiving a gift or an invitation, getting a massage or else. And often enough it is time to ask ourselves how can we treat ourselves? What can we do to show gratitude towards our physical, mental, emotional or spiritual self? What is it that we do need right now?

by pinterest.com

6. Commit to truly being yourself

This is probably the most drastic step you can take towards self-love, to commit to truly being yourself. Once you step into this powerful commitment you will see how the world will change within and around you. There is no need to say, no matter what others people think because you want to focus on yourself not on others. It’s not about not caring what others think, but its about caring more  what you actually think about yourself.

You came into this life to truly be yourself, to find yourself and to express yourself fully. This is your birthright and everybody’s birthright. There is no need to fear what others think or act aggressively or upset if they don’t agree with you. Stay focused on your path, on your commitment to self-love.

Commit to truly be yourself and love yourself for that. Others don’t need to like it, but trust me they will! Commit to finding yourself and cultivating this qualities within you that bring more joy, more love and more happiness in your life and into the life of others.

by pinterest.com

Self-love is a process and includes many steps. If we take one step at a time we are already on the way and ahead of many others.

If you want to start radical changes, well please go ahead and do so. You might find these guiding principles helpful and help you along the way to strengthen and develope your new superpower.

Let this become your guiding light:

public domain

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!”

– Charlie Chaplin

Medium – Healer – Soulactivist

Julie Jurgan is a medium, healer and Soulactivist. She offers One-to-One Sessions ( Readings & Meditations) via Skype and in person. Her healing sessions are available in person as well as via distance. Her healing sessions are powerful and transforming. If you want to know what sessions Julie offers please have a look here…

If you interested to book a session or gain more information on how I work why not contact me and arrange a

 10min FREE Consultation Session 

 with Julie Jurgan


email to julie@blossomofthesoul.org

You can follow me on Facebook here…

(featured image by hercampus.com)