Tag Archives: buddhism

How I learnt to hold myself through difficult times

I always felt drawn to Buddhism but I really started to understand the philosophy when I went to stay for a Buddhist meditation retreat.

I wasn’t intended to go on a Buddhist meditation retreat and I thought that I would be alright with my meditation practice. But then life happened and I fell from a place where I thought that my life was quite okay into a deep depression through the unexpected death of two of my friends. Finding myself in a space in which everything was dark and cold, lonely and only my tears were my constant companion.

Thinking of my self as spiritually evolved I soon realized that there is nothing to protect us from the painful experience of the loss of a loved one. For the first few days I was even unable to talk to anyone. I locked myself away into my room, lying on my bed, crying, shouting, screaming, crumbling in pain, constantly asking why?


Friends tried to reach out to me saying that everything is going to be alright. And as much as I love my friends but in this moment it wasn’t the right thing to say. Because just in this moment nothing was okay and I don’t wanted to think of a future that surely would be without my friends who have passed over.


I tried to meditate, as people say it could ease pain and help with depression. I tried to do yoga as people say it helps with everything that needs to be released from our emotional body. Then I stopped meditating and I stopped doing yoga. I don’t wanted to let go and furthermore the pain was all my friends left me with, in this moment. Somehow I felt it was the only thing for me to hold on to.

There were days, when my chest burnt like fire. I could feel the pull to follow my friends to the other side, how awful was life to leave us like this. Why do we have to die? Why is this process of separation so painful?


In this moment my life just stopped being the way it was. All my business driven attitude, the thinking and planning about the future and the creation of castle in the sky disappeared in seconds and never returned. I felt as if I was a permanent resident in hell and no way was there to get me out of it. I smoked as much as I could, didn’t go to work any more and started drinking again just to escape the painful truth of our temporary existence.

In this moment I didn’t realize that I was closer to the Buddhist truth than ever before. And I also didn’t know that this experience should lead to something I can rarely explain, but it changed my whole life forever. The loss of my friends pushed me into the stay at a Buddhist retreat centre and there I should learn what pain can teaches us and how I can hold myself in difficult times. Buddha says it already, that there is no one coming to rescue you – you have to do it all by yourself.


And I did. Nearly 1.5 years later my meditation has changed, it is deeper, it is purer and I broke away from the idea what meditation should be.

I am not scared of the painful truth any more and I came to the acceptance that life implies death. I understand that life is suffering and the only way we can come to terms with it is, to feel it and to let it in. Running away through addictive behaviour will never ever set you free.

But the most important thing I learnt during my stay in the Buddhist retreat centre was, what love and kindness can do when they not only been given to others but to ourselves. Since then the Buddhist Philosophy has become a very important part of my daily life. It gave me a deeper understanding about life and death but also about myself.


I don’t call myself a Buddhist, nor any other religious member. But I can say that Buddhism helped through some very difficulty times and it gave me a strength and understanding that I never experienced before.

Inspired and transformed by my personal experience with Buddhist Philosophy I now organize One-Day Bus Trips to Sam-ye Ling in Scotland, a Tibetan Buddhist Centre beautifully settle in the hills of Scotland.

Our next trip is to Sam-ye Ling is on the 16th of July 2017 and we have a few places left. We will set of at Saltburn Square at 7am and will be return around 8pm. If you would like to request further details on this, please send and email to julie@blossomofthesoul.org and we will send you further information.

Or you have a look here…for more information on our trip to Scotland.

In addition to that I do teach One-to-One meditation via Skype and in person to assist people in their practice and understanding of the mediation process.

Julie Jurgan is a medium, healer and Soulactivist. She offers One-to-One Sessions ( Readings & Meditations) via Skype and in person. Her healing sessions are available in person as well as via distance. Her healing sessions are powerful and transformational.

Julie is also one of  the Founders and the Eventmanager of Blossom of the Soul.

If you would like to get in touch with Julie about her Readings or Healing work or you have any other questions please send an email to julie@blossomofthesoul.org

Past Lives – The unresolved mystery

written by Julie

Do you believe in past lives? You think you have lived before as someone else? Or do you think, it is impossible and there is absolutely no reason to believe in previous lives?

Whatever you think, you probably right. Past lives are still an unresolved mystery and always good to start controversial discussion. Some people are convinced they have been here before, others are sceptic. Over the centuries many religious philosophical concepts have been created to discover the truth about the unchanging self, the soul. Some of these concepts strongly belief in the necessity of reincarnation and others totally deny this idea. To give you a brief insight, I tried to put some of main religious view together and compared their ideas. I am not responsible for the correctness of these information, I just searched in the internet and put together what I found:

Christianity: The Bible says, that man is created in God´s image, with both a material body and an immortal soul & spirit. So when we die we go to hell or to heaven, that depends how we lived and praised the Creator. Any memories of past lives must be from other living beings, souls of dead humans in purgatory or hell, or demons. The Bible is speaking of a resurrection to everlasting life as a spirit being— not simply a temporary restoration to life in a physical body. In several places in the Bible individuals were restored to physical life prior to the resurrection of Jesus. But they all died again. ( -ucg.org 2015)

Judaism: Its been said that souls go after bodily death to the World of Souls and the souls there do exist in disembodied states. Resurrection as such is not reincarnation, it is the reunification of the soul with the former body, into the world to come. Purpose of resurrection is the reward body with eternity and the soul with higher perfection. Resurrection is a time of reward, reincarnation is a time for preparing. Resurrection is a time of reaping, reincarnation a time of sowing. As long as a person is unsuccessful in his purpose in this world, the Holy One, uproots him and replant him over and over again.

Islam: When a person dies, God takes his/her soul. A soon as a human dies a is barrier immediately in place. This barrier prevents his/her from returning to earth. This barrier is maintained until the day of resurrection.

Buddhism: There is no eternal soul as such, but a stream of consciousness. There are 5 or 6 realms of existence including the human form. Any kind of animal and several types of supernatural being. In Tibetan Buddhism its been said that it is very rare to be reborn in immediate next life as a human.

Hinduism: Its been said that you reincarnate as another living being, that depends on your karmic inheritance.

So great, where we are going from here now? Many different point of views, how can we ever know who is right or wrong? Can science help by looking into the different aspects of Quantum physics?

If we do agree that consciousness is eternal, made and consists of energy so it can´t be destroyed nor created, it will always exist somehow. Somewhere.

There are people they say, it is not of any value for them to know if they lived before or not, others don´t care if their consciousness does survive physical death. That is alright, not everyone is interested or open for the same things. But once you start out on the road less travelled to explore whats inside of you, you will reach that crossroad and ask yourself this question. Who am I?

You will explore your physical self, its limitations and blockages, your limited mind and brain with all its belief systems, certain habits and behaviours. But you also will explore a lot of gifts and talents you have, things you like and dislike. All of that forms the unique you, or that what you think is you. Someone could argument now, well we all have been raised by our parents (or someone elses), been educated, programmed, trained since we were born. Of course we picked up on mannerism and characteristics, we might have certain genetic dispositional and our minds and brains have been shaped over the years. And still there is something inside of us that is not that easy to grasp, but that also is part of our very being. That something could be named as your soul and is with you since you were born, or maybe before?

It is very hard to explain, but your soul maybe creates something inside of you that is difficult to explain. Something that creates a dull, an urge, a calling inside of you and you have no idea why or where it is coming from. You feel drawn to something, a place, a person and you can´t explain why? You might discover gifts and talents, interests that have nothing to do with your family or relatives. You feel very much at home at places you never visited before, suddenly you remember things and you can´t explain why or where this came from. I am not talking about visions with your third eye, this goes deeper, this creates something inside of you. A longing, a desire and somehow it seems like not from this world, as you can´t explain it logically, but somehow it is calling you. Something inside of you remembers. There are a lot of books on the market about past lives and they are all different.

But I found the one very interesting which were about children who remembered and spoke about previous lives. There is a little girl in the USA born to american parents and never been to Japan and not connection to Japan whatsoever. Suddenly when this girl turned two, she started to speak Japanese and longed for eating fish and rice. The parents very obviously irritated.

There is another example of a little boy from Scotland who remembered his past life and really got upset and depressed because he missed his former mother that much. I put his video here: ( and if you want to discover your past life why not arrange an appointment with our Past Life Regressionist Sukirat?)