You know I like honesty and it is really important for me. For a long time I thought that all people do live by these kind of principles as they are common sense. Furthermore there are many world religions or other spiritual teachings that highlight the importance of honesty as a main principle for our every day life and still we fail massively in our practice of honesty.
Buddhism for example includes in its spiritual practices that we should not steal from others and also speak no words that harm. I am not sure if they realised that being honest sometimes can piss people off even if we didn’t intent to do so. Sometimes telling the truth can feel more like a slap into the face rather than receiving a bunch of beautiful flowers.
Being honest is not about pleasing everybody but its also not about hurting anyone by purpose either. It is about the right to be yourself and about bringing clarity into your life. I do believe that being honest is something that I do want to claim for myself.
I have the right to be honest and so have you.
I do offer honesty to my friends and I expect honesty in return. This is how it works for me without all these unspoken words.
I am not scared or afraid if the truth does hurt me because I am able to deal with it. If not, well I will learn to incorporate that into my life as well.
How often do we swallow what we actually want to say to someone?
How often do we hold back just to keep the harmony while there is a war inside of us?
How often has dishonesty lead to more problems than being honest in the first place?
Let’s just keep in mind that there are different ways of being honest and different reasons too.
To tell someone that they might hurt you or you don’t feel like hanging out with someone or spend time with them is not a crime. It is your right to set honest boundaries that work for you. It is your right to say – you hurt me. It is your right to say – I don’t like hanging out with you because…
Honesty doesn’t make you a lot of friends but it will keep you the right ones. Honesty will take you to places of more clarity and understanding of yourself but also of others.
We live in a fake smile society where everything is been left unsaid, wrapped up in something to hide it or we get shouted at. If we would have learnt to express honestly what we feel in the first place it would not have come to the point where we need to shout at each other to get heard.
If we had the balls to be honest and not lose our dignity nor make others lose theirs the world could be a better place. If we straight point out what the matter is and not hold back than the others know what is going on with us. This offers the opportunity to others to apologize if they did something wrong or to make an effort to change things that are not right.
Honesty offers space for improvement.
Instead we expect people to sense what we think or feel. And as an empath you feel a lot, sometimes more than you want to. This might also be part of the problem why I do like honesty so much. Then I don’t need to constantly ask myself what I have done wrong to others because the energy feels strange suddenly. And if you ask they say that everything is okay when it isn’t anyway. You know what, I am tired of that. Its a waste of time.
I feel drained by all this fake smiles and holding back of real feelings. Honesty brings clarity into your life and into the life of others. If you honesty say what the matter is or what you feel at least its out there and not inside of you. Where it slowly penetrates deeper and deeper into your subconsciousness and creates a life of its own. This is how negative shit comes about and eats you up.
You can be honest and kind at the same time. But to be honest requires a lot of training and skills and you will not always win the situation. We need to brave to be honest. Pointing out honestly what is wrong in our lives can be a very painful but eye opening process. To put the finger honestly where the wound is and acknowledging we might don’t know how to put it right. Yeah, that requires a lot of strength and often we not quite sure we have enough of it. Because we so easily pretend that we know how to fix everything or just like overseeing what is going wrong.
Sooner or later the truth will get you anyway. It will chase you like shadow even in the night. It will crawl into your dreams to remind you that something is not quite right. It doesn’t need to be that way, there are few things you can bring into your life and practice to be more honest to yourself and others.
1. Be honest about how you feel without feeling guilty.
Emotions are only temporary and also can be influenced by other people or our surrounding. The moment we are honest about how we feel it most likely will dissappear anyway. That might takes the edge of the drama already anyway.
2. Don’t stay quiet just to keep the harmony.
Nothing is more self-destructive than not speaking up when we really want to. Often we just don’t want to end up in an argument. We totally forget that sometimes releasing that amount of energy is important to break through to the next level – especially in relationships.
3. The truth doesn’t need to be delivered in a nasty way.
You can always be honest and be kind at the same time. It’s not your problem how other people receive your honesty but theirs. People don’t like to be told only to be praised but if you are honest that might not the case. Keep in mind that you want to be honest not mean – get that skill and keep your integrity and others too.
4. Being honest is a rare skill.
Yes being honest is a skill that requires a lot of training and might bring you into ackward moments but that is life. The less you fear to be who you really are and that includes living honestly the stronger you will get within yourself.
5. Honesty will open and close doors.
Stop living in the illusion that honesty gets you everywhere. It will take you to new places for sure, it will lead to different places and some of them you didn’t mean to end up. Be honest anyway. In long long term honesty will attract the right people and opportunities into your life.
6. Honesty brings clarity!
Yes it is true, if you honest about how you feel, what you want or what you think it will improve your life. Slowly but steady honesty will clarify what is important to you.
7. Explore when to speak up and when to keep quiet.
There is a fine line of being honest and keeping quiet and you will learn when to use what. Sometimes even if we are honest with others nothing will change, this is a good indication that we need to check with ourselves. It might be time to walk away from a situation or person that doesn’t listen, care or make the effort to change. At least then be honest to yourself.
8. Honesty destroys illusions.
Yes, that’s is what is going to happen. No more denial, no more pretending, just straight to the point. And finally we so easily can take it from there.
9. Be honest – make life of an empath better.
You know how many people really can sense when someone is lying? And how many empaths even do keep that to themselves and don’t point it out? Instead they suffer silently because they don’t even want to create more pain.
10. Being honest will release unnecessary cause of suffering in your life.
By being honest with others but also with yourself you erase a lot of worries and negative feelings from your life. Because you no longer pretend to be someone you are not. How freeing is that?
But most important maybe is that we also offer others the space to be honest. So others don’t feel intimidated by us but also grab the chance to be honest with us. Learning to calmly receive what others have to say without putting up our walls is another skill that we will need to learn in our honesty practice.
Let’s just keep it simple – and real, so the rest can fall into place.
So much love!!!!
Julie Jurgan is a medium, healer and Soulactivist. She offers One-to-One Sessions ( Readings & Meditations) via Skype and in person. Her healing sessions are available in person as well as via distance. Her healing sessions are powerful and transforming.
If you would like to get in touch with Julie about her Readings or Healing work or you have any other questions please fill out this contact form and we will be in touch.
(featured image – google.com)