Having strong boundaries is a skill that, I never learned as I was growing up. But, through my healing journey, I realized that boundaries are crucial in all aspects of life. Establishing boundaries has made me feel much more powerful and grounded.
Not only did this raise my self-confidence level, but also self-respect, and sense of self-worth. I am no longer persuaded by others’ views and opinions; instead, I feel empowered by establishing my own boundaries. I have learned that boundaries play a huge role in our lives.
There are personal boundaries that every individual needs to embody. If these personal boundaries are not respected one can feel powerless in life. Not having boundaries can wreak physical and mental havoc. Anxiety, depression, irritable bowel syndrome and hormonal issues are just a few of the illnesses that can manifest. Boundaries can cause drama and unhealthy relationships which leave us feeling exhausted and powerless.
Boundaries show everyone we come in contact with; how we want to be treated and respected. Boundaries need to come from a place of love rather than from the ego self. At first establishing these boundaries can be challenging, but if you are consistent the rewards are endless.
Boundary setting is never easy whether it’s a personal or professional situation. Clear boundary setting is important for both parties in a relationship or it can cause a havoc both mentally and physically. Some simple steps to establishing boundaries:
1. Make the other party aware that a problem exists.
2. Be assertive and firm, but at the same time come from a place of non-judgement and heart energy. Don’t let fear and guilt hold you back from speaking your truth.
3. Discuss how the situation is affecting you on an emotional level.
4. Get clear on moving forward with your new established boundaries.
5. If all fails and you feel that your boundaries are not being respected, at this point you can decide on your next course of action.
Again, it’s up to you to decide what that will be. Sometimes we have to completely cut ties with relationships that don’t honour our highest good.
The people who are meant to stay in your life regardless of your boundaries are the ones that you should consider keeping in the long-term. Others will slowly fade away and that’s a good sign that you are upholding your boundaries and not changing or making adjustments out of fear of being judged or disliked.
Once we have set our boundaries it’s best to be consistent at all times regardless of any situation, or other changes that are happening in our life. From time to time I have been tempted to make adjustments to my boundaries by certain people. This causes me to reflect on my boundaries, and usually results in my becoming even more grounded with the boundary that I originally put in place.
Let’s send a clear message that we will no longer tolerate any sort of behaviour that is not acceptable. Let’s be courageous and establish clear boundaries that not only raise our vibration but also create love and compassion. Boundaries once established can be a powerful way of living life to the fullest. To live an empowered life one must establish boundaries that keep us centered and grounded in any circumstance.
written by Nina Bains (www.betherealyou.ca)